Investing in the Future — Chapter 3

IMGP0516The next year became a whirlwind of activity. I had my schooling to attend to, a wedding date set for June and we had started to look for rental properties. I had developed a passion over my lifetime for real estate.

Planning a wedding was really not that important to me. Unlike many young girls, I had never dreamed about my wedding day and although I had wondered who I would marry, I did not have an ideal guy dreamed up in my imagination, much less an ideal wedding planned.

Surprising to me now is the realization that I did wonder whom I would marry, but I never wondered if I would marry. I was raised under the assumption that I would get married. Respectable women got married. My grandmother, on my mother’s side, even assured me that I did not need to go to school, because I was pretty enough to get married. Marriage, of course, was the first choice for a woman—or so it was always assumed—so you would only bother with an education if you thought that marriage was unlikely.

Bob and I went to his parents and explained what we could afford, as far as a wedding was concerned. Bob’s mom found our plan unacceptable and offered to pay for a “proper” wedding. I did not care either way. Bob liked to say that he did not want a big wedding, but he only ever said this in hindsight. He did not say that he did not want a big wedding to his mother, the one paying for it, only to his friends and people that he was trying to impress. Going against the grain was always something that Bob liked to do and since big weddings were in fashion, he liked to say that he did not want one.

I remember my soon to be mother-in-law doing most of the work planning our wedding. This was fine by me. I was estranged from my family pretty well, so I did not ask them to contribute and I did not invite many of my friends or relatives to the wedding.

My love of real estate was born during the first house hunting that I did with my parents while I was in grade three. I remember being thrilled with all of the possibilities. I was amazed at how different homes were just in our city. It was difficult to imagine how different they would be across the world.

When we were staying in the townhouses, while I was a young teenager, I was astonished at how much of a difference good wallpaper could make in identical units. Then, later, when my mother bought the large rental property it did not take a lot of intelligence to realize that she had bought herself a solid investment, an income.

My father used to explain to me how much simple inflation could impact the value of a home and that in the divorce settlement he had paid my mother, for her half of the assets, over ten times the amount that he had paid for the house initially. This was difficult for me to get my mind around.

I managed to convince Bob that we should buy a rental property. He was reluctant. He did not see why we should buy a property and not live in it. He did not understand that you could buy one and rent it, especially in a university town. Eventually, he did come around and we bought a semi that was half of an older home, within walking distance of the university. It turned out to be an excellent investment.

The rental property paid for its own mortgage, our rent and went up enough in value over the time that we owned it enough to pay for my student loans completely.

So the summer was a blur of getting married, working at the veterinary hospital as an assistant and buying our first rental property.

Our honeymoon was planned for a secluded cottage in Ontario, right on a small waterway. Friends of mine had let us borrow their cottage and had stocked it with a different, high quality, bottle of wine—one for each night. Our difference in relaxation reared its head again. At this cottage, we were totally disconnected from the outside world. We had enough supplies to last us for the entire time.

I was reveling in how nice it was at this cottage and enjoying our break when Bob got restless. He needed to be doing more. He wanted to read the newspaper and catch up on what was going on. He did not want to stay the entire time. His argument went something like this, “We have all of the gifts to put away. The apartment is a mess. We have a bunch of work to do. We should not stay here the entire time because we’ll have to go back to work and the apartment will still need a lot of work. We should leave early.”

So, once again, relaxation was thwarted. The honeymoon was cut short and we went home early. It did not occur to me that this was a symptom of a larger problem. I can add all kinds of insights in here about what this should have revealed to me and how it was a symptom of a larger problem, but it does not seem fair to judge myself in this way. Hindsight is always 20-20 and I took it at face value at the time. We did have a lot of things to take care of at home.

Read the entire book, now available
Read the entire book, now available

Keep Reading: Pregnant?

www.wendypowell.ca

Just Say No — Chapter 3

I can’t possibly IMGP0503keep referring to this guy as the “guy” so lets call him Bob. That is not his real name but we will all know whom I am talking about. Bob finished up his degree and I still had a few years before I would finish my vet degree, so he decided to stick around and begin another degree as a way of being able to stay in the same city.

The relationship was rocky, but everything that I had read and all of the people that I had spoken to assured me that the first years of living with someone were always difficult. There are many books written about how to survive the first year together. So, I did not put too much stock in it.

By the next summer we were quite an item and decided to go away for a week together near the end of the break from school. We borrowed his mother’s car to go camping in our home province. We did not really set out a plan, but we loosely were going to drive to the areas where there were campsites, not the commercial, provincial ones where there were hundreds of people, but the more secluded ones where you could get out into nature, even if you did have water and electricity provided.

My idea of a nice vacation is to reach a destination that is enjoyable and relax there. Currently, my favourite vacations are to go to an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean where the weather is good, the scenery can be breathtaking and all of your needs are met without any thought. Food, drinks and entertainment are all available without any planning, total relaxation.

His idea of a vacation was to cover territory. He wanted to be doing things. We ended up going from campsite to campsite ever in search of the ultimate destination. There was always something that could be improved upon, the possibility of a better place to stay for a couple of days.

This meant that our holiday consisted of driving from place to place, setting up a campsite and taking the campsite down the next day and moving again. These places were often quite a distance from each other so we might spend a few hours on the road each day. Not my idea of relaxing.

To be fair in all of this, Ontario is gorgeous. We were driving through open expanses of fields, mature trees, small towns and waterways. There were all kinds of interesting things to see and nice places to stop and look around. We did not stop and look around. One of the priorities when driving anywhere is to get there as efficiently as possible, so stopping is never an option unless absolutely required. But I digress, the scenery was quite nice.

The bit that I’ve left out so far was that he did not have a driver’s license, or rather he had one and it had been suspended. In high school he had been in a serious car accident. They were never able to prove whether or not alcohol was involved because they were too busy trying to save lives to remember to take the required samples for blood alcohol analysis.

So, in summary, I drove for most of this holiday and he sat in the passenger seat and drank. Wow! The metaphor there is absolutely frightening.

We arrived at a particularly scenic place near the end of our week together and set up camp. The site was on the edge of a small inlet of water quite a ways back from the main body of water. This inlet was surrounded by mature trees with a majority of evergreens giving it a very secluded and private feel. The deep green and total coverage of the evergreen trees is quite appealing. We spent the day at the campsite and in the water.

Have you ever had the experience of blurting something out and then regretting it immediately? Have you ever realized later that it was the right thing to say even though you did not realize it at the time? Sometimes, the sensation feels like you knew what was going to be said, before it was said, and that you had the answer waiting and ready. These answers should be trusted.

At one point during our stay, we swam out to a small dock that was suspended near the edge of this large inlet. We were completely alone and there was this blissful feeling of being surrounded by nature and beauty. I climbed up onto the dock and sat there enjoying the scenery and Bob said something along the lines of, “Will you marry me?”

With no thought, no consideration and no hesitation I just blurted out, “No.”

Keep Reading: The Fish Bowl

Read the entire book, now available
Read the entire book, now available
The Narcissist Survival Guide now available

Top 10 Signs Your are Dating a Narcissist

www.wendypowell.ca

Just Say No — Chapter 3

I can’t possibly IMGP0503keep referring to this guy as the “guy” so lets call him Bob. That is not his real name but we will all know whom I am talking about. Bob finished up his degree and I still had a few years before I would finish my vet degree, so he decided to stick around and begin another degree as a way of being able to stay in the same city.

The relationship was rocky, but everything that I had read and all of the people that I had spoken to assured me that the first years of living with someone were always difficult. There are many books written about how to survive the first year together. So, I did not put too much stock in it.

By the next summer we were quite an item and decided to go away for a week together near the end of the break from school. We borrowed his mother’s car to go camping in our home province. We did not really set out a plan, but we loosely were going to drive to the areas where there were campsites, not the commercial, provincial ones where there were hundreds of people, but the more secluded ones where you could get out into nature, even if you did have water and electricity provided.

My idea of a nice vacation is to reach a destination that is enjoyable and relax there. Currently, my favourite vacations are to go to an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean where the weather is good, the scenery can be breathtaking and all of your needs are met without any thought. Food, drinks and entertainment are all available without any planning, total relaxation.

His idea of a vacation was to cover territory. He wanted to be doing things. We ended up going from campsite to campsite ever in search of the ultimate destination. There was always something that could be improved upon, the possibility of a better place to stay for a couple of days.

This meant that our holiday consisted of driving from place to place, setting up a campsite and taking the campsite down the next day and moving again. These places were often quite a distance from each other so we might spend a few hours on the road each day. Not my idea of relaxing.

To be fair in all of this, Ontario is gorgeous. We were driving through open expanses of fields, mature trees, small towns and waterways. There were all kinds of interesting things to see and nice places to stop and look around. We did not stop and look around. One of the priorities when driving anywhere is to get there as efficiently as possible, so stopping is never an option unless absolutely required. But I digress, the scenery was quite nice.

The bit that I’ve left out so far was that he did not have a driver’s license, or rather he had one and it had been suspended. In high school he had been in a serious car accident. They were never able to prove whether or not alcohol was involved because they were too busy trying to save lives to remember to take the required samples for blood alcohol analysis.

So, in summary, I drove for most of this holiday and he sat in the passenger seat and drank. Wow! The metaphor there is absolutely frightening.

We arrived at a particularly scenic place near the end of our week together and set up camp. The site was on the edge of a small inlet of water quite a ways back from the main body of water. This inlet was surrounded by mature trees with a majority of evergreens giving it a very secluded and private feel. The deep green and total coverage of the evergreen trees is quite appealing. We spent the day at the campsite and in the water.

Have you ever had the experience of blurting something out and then regretting it immediately? Have you ever realized later that it was the right thing to say even though you did not realize it at the time? Sometimes, the sensation feels like you knew what was going to be said, before it was said, and that you had the answer waiting and ready. These answers should be trusted.

At one point during our stay, we swam out to a small dock that was suspended near the edge of this large inlet. We were completely alone and there was this blissful feeling of being surrounded by nature and beauty. I climbed up onto the dock and sat there enjoying the scenery and Bob said something along the lines of, “Will you marry me?”

With no thought, no consideration and no hesitation I just blurted out, “No.”

Keep Reading: The Fish Bowl

Read the entire book, now available
Read the entire book, now available
The Narcissist Survival Guide now available

Top 10 Signs Your are Dating a Narcissist

www.wendypowell.ca

Investing in the Future — Chapter 3

IMGP0516The next year became a whirlwind of activity. I had my schooling to attend to, a wedding date set for June and we had started to look for rental properties. I had developed a passion over my lifetime for real estate.

Planning a wedding was really not that important to me. Unlike many young girls, I had never dreamed about my wedding day and although I had wondered who I would marry, I did not have an ideal guy dreamed up in my imagination, much less an ideal wedding planned.

Surprising to me now is the realization that I did wonder whom I would marry, but I never wondered if I would marry. I was raised under the assumption that I would get married. Respectable women got married. My grandmother, on my mother’s side, even assured me that I did not need to go to school, because I was pretty enough to get married. Marriage, of course, was the first choice for a woman—or so it was always assumed—so you would only bother with an education if you thought that marriage was unlikely.

Bob and I went to his parents and explained what we could afford, as far as a wedding was concerned. Bob’s mom found our plan unacceptable and offered to pay for a “proper” wedding. I did not care either way. Bob liked to say that he did not want a big wedding, but he only ever said this in hindsight. He did not say that he did not want a big wedding to his mother, the one paying for it, only to his friends and people that he was trying to impress. Going against the grain was always something that Bob liked to do and since big weddings were in fashion, he liked to say that he did not want one.

I remember my soon to be mother-in-law doing most of the work planning our wedding. This was fine by me. I was estranged from my family pretty well, so I did not ask them to contribute and I did not invite many of my friends or relatives to the wedding.

My love of real estate was born during the first house hunting that I did with my parents while I was in grade three. I remember being thrilled with all of the possibilities. I was amazed at how different homes were just in our city. It was difficult to imagine how different they would be across the world.

When we were staying in the townhouses, while I was a young teenager, I was astonished at how much of a difference good wallpaper could make in identical units. Then, later, when my mother bought the large rental property it did not take a lot of intelligence to realize that she had bought herself a solid investment, an income.

My father used to explain to me how much simple inflation could impact the value of a home and that in the divorce settlement he had paid my mother, for her half of the assets, over ten times the amount that he had paid for the house initially. This was difficult for me to get my mind around.

I managed to convince Bob that we should buy a rental property. He was reluctant. He did not see why we should buy a property and not live in it. He did not understand that you could buy one and rent it, especially in a university town. Eventually, he did come around and we bought a semi that was half of an older home, within walking distance of the university. It turned out to be an excellent investment.

The rental property paid for its own mortgage, our rent and went up enough in value over the time that we owned it enough to pay for my student loans completely.

So the summer was a blur of getting married, working at the veterinary hospital as an assistant and buying our first rental property.

Our honeymoon was planned for a secluded cottage in Ontario, right on a small waterway. Friends of mine had let us borrow their cottage and had stocked it with a different, high quality, bottle of wine—one for each night. Our difference in relaxation reared its head again. At this cottage, we were totally disconnected from the outside world. We had enough supplies to last us for the entire time.

I was reveling in how nice it was at this cottage and enjoying our break when Bob got restless. He needed to be doing more. He wanted to read the newspaper and catch up on what was going on. He did not want to stay the entire time. His argument went something like this, “We have all of the gifts to put away. The apartment is a mess. We have a bunch of work to do. We should not stay here the entire time because we’ll have to go back to work and the apartment will still need a lot of work. We should leave early.”

So, once again, relaxation was thwarted. The honeymoon was cut short and we went home early. It did not occur to me that this was a symptom of a larger problem. I can add all kinds of insights in here about what this should have revealed to me and how it was a symptom of a larger problem, but it does not seem fair to judge myself in this way. Hindsight is always 20-20 and I took it at face value at the time. We did have a lot of things to take care of at home.

Read the entire book, now available
Read the entire book, now available

Keep Reading: Pregnant?

www.wendypowell.ca